When Too Many Good Options Make It Hard to Pray
A prayerful approach to choice overload, decision fatigue, and the difficulty of knowing what deserves attention today
Sometimes the problem is not that life has too little meaning. Sometimes the problem is that life seems to contain too many meaningful possibilities.
A person may have many worthwhile interests, responsibilities, relationships, projects, and hopes. Instead of feeling grateful for the freedom to pursue them, he or she begins to feel anxious and immobilized.
The internal question becomes:
Which good thing am I supposed to be doing right now?
Psychology uses several terms for parts of this experience: choice overload, analysis paralysis, decision fatigue, executive overload, and sometimes approach-approach conflict—the difficulty of choosing between several desirable alternatives.
But for a Christian, the problem can take on another dimension. It may begin to feel as though every worthwhile possibility might be an assignment from God.
When Every Good Idea Feels Like a Calling
One of the most exhausting spiritual assumptions is that every good opportunity carries an obligation.
There may be many things a person could do that are genuinely worthwhile. That does not mean God is requiring that person to do all of them.
Prayer can become especially difficult under these circumstances because prayer itself is open-ended. There is always another person to pray for, another passage of Scripture to read, another problem to think about, another question to bring before God.
Someone who is already overwhelmed by possibilities may unconsciously avoid prayer because prayer seems like one more activity with no obvious finish line.
Prayer Does Not Require Briefing God
One way to reduce this pressure is to remember that prayer is not primarily a matter of supplying God with information.
Yahweh, you have searched me,
and you know me.
Psalm 139:1
God already knows the projects, fears, unfinished obligations, desires, resentments, possibilities, and competing priorities occupying the mind.
Prayer can therefore begin without going through the entire list.
Father, you already know what is competing for my attention.
You know what I am worried about, what I am hoping for, what I am avoiding, and what I think I ought to accomplish.
I don't need to explain all of it to you.
I am here.
What deserves my attention today?
Ask About the Mission Before the Projects
When too many projects compete for attention, it may be more useful to ask about the larger purpose beneath them.
Instead of asking:
Which of my fifteen projects should I work on?
ask:
Father, what are you fundamentally asking me to become and to contribute?
Several activities may serve the same underlying calling. Writing, teaching, friendship, service, prayer, hospitality, mentoring, organizing, or study may all be different expressions of one deeper concern.
If that deeper concern becomes clearer, individual projects can be understood as possible means rather than separate competing missions.
Father, help me distinguish between the mission and the methods.
Show me what I should remain faithful to even if the particular strategy needs to change.
If I have turned one method into an absolute requirement, loosen my grip on it.
Ask What Belongs to Today
A lifetime calling does not have to be completed today.
Jesus taught his disciples to ask for daily bread. Scripture repeatedly brings human beings back from imagined futures into present faithfulness.
Therefore don't be anxious for tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Each day's own evil is sufficient.
Matthew 6:34
This suggests a much smaller prayer:
Father, I am not asking you to show me everything I should do with the rest of my life.
What belongs to today?
What is the next faithful thing?
Notice what comes to mind without immediately treating it as a revelation. It may simply identify the concern that deserves examination.
Faithfulness Is Not the Same as Maximum Productivity
A person can easily begin measuring life by the amount accomplished. Prayer offers an opportunity to challenge that assumption.
Perhaps the more important question is not:
How much can I accomplish?
but:
What would faithfulness look like today?
Sometimes faithfulness means working hard. Sometimes it means having an important conversation. Sometimes it means waiting. Sometimes it means abandoning a strategy that is not bearing fruit. Sometimes it means continuing despite resistance. Sometimes it means resting.
The difficulty is discernment.
Father, keep me from confusing busyness with faithfulness.
Keep me from assuming that resistance always means I should quit.
But also keep me from assuming that persistence proves I heard you correctly.
Teach me the difference between faithfulness and stubbornness.
Give Yourself Permission to Leave Good Things Undone
One of the hardest lessons for a conscientious person may be accepting that many genuinely worthwhile things will remain undone.
That is not necessarily failure. It is one of the unavoidable consequences of being finite.
Prayer can become a place where a person deliberately gives those unchosen possibilities back to God.
Father, there are more good things in the world than I can possibly do.
I release the things that are not mine to carry today.
If something truly belongs to me, bring it back at the proper time.
I do not have to keep every possibility alive in my mind.
A Simple Daily Practice
For someone struggling with open-ended prayer and too many priorities, it may help to make prayer deliberately finite.
Father, you know I may not particularly feel like doing this right now.
You know what I have been doing instead.
You know what I am worried about, what I am angry about, what I am hoping for, and who I am concerned about.
I don't need to go through the whole list.
I am giving you these next twenty minutes.
What do we need to deal with today?
Then listen.
If a concern surfaces, bring that concern before God. Look for a passage of Scripture that genuinely addresses it. Read slowly enough to allow Scripture to challenge the assumptions being brought into prayer.
When the allotted time is over, prayer can simply conclude.
Father, thank you for this time.
Show me what belongs to me now, and help me leave the rest with you.
When Enough Is Enough
Prayer is not finished because every possible subject has been covered.
Bible reading is not finished because every possible insight has been discovered.
There will always be more to pray about. There will always be more Scripture to study. There will always be another worthwhile project.
The goal is not to complete everything.
The goal is to become increasingly able to say:
Father, you know me.
You know everything I could be doing.
Help me recognize what you are asking of me today, trust you with what remains undone, and do the next faithful thing.